I have gotten so used to the way that the STBE interacts with the kids that listening to how L is with them, while I'm laying in the bedroom trying to recouperate from endo surgery 2 days ago, just blows my mind. She is amazing with them. For the most part they listen to her and when they don't she gently reprimands them instead of yelling at them. I'm so used to the yelling that the absence of it is deafening.
I know that they are two different people, nothing could be more clear, but still. How did I let him treat them like that for so long with me just idly sitting by? Why do I still tolerate it? I know when they are at his house the STBE still yells at C & R. All the time. When the pain was at its worst and the three of us were staying with him I saw it first hand so I know that nothing has changed.
Knowing the personality differences between L and the STBE I really shouldn't be surprised at how differently they interact with the kids. I am grateful for them though. Its nice to think that at least at our house there won't be the constant yelling. Its nice to know that I will finally have somebody that isn't a walking time bomb to help raise C and R to be something other than more walking time bombs. Here's hoping that nurture totally outweighs nature with the kids.