So, with that part of my life over I can't help but look to the upcoming months and know that there is so much about to change. L will be back for a visit in less than 2 weeks (thank goodness!) and this will hopefully be her last visit. After this she will hopefully be moving here for good. I can't tell you how excited this thought makes me, words just don't do the feeling justice, but I'm sure you can guess. Soon the period in my life where the one person I want with me the most is living across the country will be over.
Next month will also see the offical, legal, final end to my marriage and the STBE will actually be the Ex. This is both a stressfull thing and a relief. Its stressful because there is so much I need to get done between now and our court date and I'm more than a little overwhelmed. The thought of the actual court appearance freaks me out too. What if the judge doesn't like how we've handled things and changes them? The STBE will throw a fit, not literally I'm sure, and will likely refuse to go through with the divorce unless the judge goes through with what he and I originally agreed on. Not only does the thought of the divorce becoming some long drawn-out process freak me out for the pure fact of it becoming a long drawn-out process, but more than that it freaks me out because if it does go that way I'm scared L won't move out here after all. Or at least not as soon as she would if things go smoothly.
As for the relief caused by the final ending of my marriage, I would think its obvious. I will no longer be legally tied to my abuser. If you can't guess, this is huge. For the past 6 years I have been emotionally abused by this man. For the past 5 I have been sexually abused by this man. As of September 26th, if all goes according to plan, I will no longer have to explain to people that my abuser is also my husband. I will no longer be a statistic, a woman in an abusive relationship who couldn't (or wouldn't) get out. I will be free. Sure, there will still be drama between him and I. When I had kids with him I signed up for life-long drama. But, even with the drama I won't feel obligated to deal with it because I will no longer legally be 'his'. Whew!
|*bit - please forgive the typo Swype hates me...|