Saturday, August 10, 2013

Worries of a Kindergarten Mom: Where to even start?

Well, the post-move/before-start-of-school insanity is kicking in.  The house isn't fully unpacked yet, getting C enrolled in a school close to our house was a nightmare, and we're dead broke.  Yay!  

Okay, so maybe that yay really does make me seem crazy but I'm really beginning to feel it.  This move was killer on our finances and while I don't regret making it for an instant, the fact that it cost us nearly twice as much to move here as we expected, and that we're still paying on the house we left in WA until October 1st, means that buying school supplies and uniforms (yep, both kids' schools require uniforms instead of regular clothes) is going to be incredibly hard.  Can you feel my stress levels rising yet?  If you can't, just keep reading.

Even if we were still in WA and our finances weren't so dire I'd still be feeling the crazies right about now, however.  The impending upheaval in our family's daily lives is going to change everything.  Both kids will be going to school for the first time in only a matter of weeks.  My house will be empty of chatter, and screaming, and giggles for at least 3 hours a day while both kids are gone, and then even after R gets home from preschool its still going to be strangely quiet because by herself she's quiet as a mouse most of the time.  Then, once they're both home there is going to be homework to be done and stories to be told of their days spent away from me.  That'll be cool, but really weird.  

While I am excited for both C & R to go to school, because they are both so excited, I'm also getting pretty anxious as well.  I had sincerely hoped that both kids would be in the same school but as things have worked out they just won't be.  This means instead of one set of parents, teachers, and staff to get used to and try and fit in with I will have two sets.  Instead of only having to worry about how our kids would be accepted at one school for having two mommies who don't happen to be incredibly religious I'm now faced with two.

On the whole, I love our new city and our new life here.  But this whole school thing has me more than a little nervous.  I have no idea when the proper time is to mention to the kids' teachers that, oh by the way, I'm not their only mommy.  When I was doing C's enrollment papers the other day I think is when this hit me.  There were questions asking about who the child lives with, and what those people's relationships were to the child.  There were places for "parent/guardian #1" and "parent/guardian #2" and a third place for "parent the child doesn't live with".  It was cool, but a bit startling that the forms weren't just limited to mom and dad but that they made it pretty generic for any possible parenting combination.

When I got home from enrolling C, and the two of us being given the grand tour by one of the lovely secretaries, L asked me if I had mentioned that C had two mommies and I immediately felt bad that I hadn't.  If anybody actually takes the time to read the forms it will be crystal clear that he does, but it never came up in conversation and I was honestly too nervous to say anything.  I don't want C's first experience with school to have a shadow hanging over it before he even starts just because of who I love and am planning on spending my life with.  R is a lot more durable than her brother when it comes to change and not a whole lot phases her so even if there are issues at her school as well I have a feeling I will be able to cope with those better than if there are some at C's school.

My big worry right now is how/when to tell people about our family.  Where do I even start?  With the kids' teachers?  With the super sweet secretary?  With the principal?  With another parent?  A secondary worry I have has to do with those annoying money issues I mentioned earlier.  Most of the local assistance groups that help with school supplies and uniform costs are religious groups.  And while I wish it wasn't the case, I know that many of those groups do not like or approve of our type of family and I honestly would feel horribly awkward even going to them for assistance in the first place.  

Luckily I have L.  She's not much of a social butterfly, much like myself, but at least she is better able to handle my worries than I am.  She's the more level headed of the two of us by far.  I know that even if things do get rocky at either of the kids' schools she'll be able to help me not overreact too much.  I just wish I had at least one connection to a family like ours here, that way I could hopefully talk to other parents who have been through the worries I'm going through right now that could laugh and tell me everything will be just fine. 

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