Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The insanity in the waiting game

Have you ever anxiously awaited something?  The release of a new book by your favorite author maybe?  Or heck, what about a three day holiday weekend?  Or how about the arrival of your long distance love coming to move out with you or the results of your State Board nursing exam?  Well, if you think I'm going insane waiting for those first two, at times you might be right but at the moment its definitely the last two that are driving me absolutely bonkers.

I'm not sure how much I've talked about my journey to becoming a nurse in this blog, but I entered nursing school Fall of 2011 and graduated my school's LPN program the end of August this year.  Then life happened (L visit, C birthday, divorce, ex's attempt at suicide, etc) so I just put off taking the exam until a "better" time.  What a joke that was!  The weekend before my exam I had two tests due and a paper, not to mention all my other homework.  Oh well!  I took my exam yesterday and am now rather impatiently awaiting the results.  Most of my class that has taken their exam already got their passing results back within hours of finishing.  I've already been waiting over 24 hours.  Only one of my classmates had to wait a long time to find out that she passed, the other one that had to wait failed.  So I'm basically looking at a 50/50 chance here and I'm constantly stalking the Department of Health's website, refreshing every couple hours (during business hours) to see if my license status has been changed to "Active" which indicates a passing grade for the exam.  Its nerve wracking let me tell ya!

And then there is the biggest, most exciting thing to happen in my life since the birth of my children.  Something I have been hoping for, and dreaming about for years.  L is finally making the move out here and the train will be depositing her into my life and my arms in 25 days.  Only 25 days!!!  I've got so much to get accomplished before she gets here, mostly decluttering to make room for her stuff, and I just don't think I have enough time.  The day she gets on her train will be the day after my last final for fall quarter, which means those two days she's on that train making her way across the country to me, I will be scrambling like a mad woman to make sure everything is ready for her permanent arrival into my life.  I am so stinking giddy its ridiculous, but I'm also losing my mind.  I so desperately want it to be December already so that I can see her again, so that our life together can officially start.

For the past few months I have felt like I've been stuck in some awful kind of limbo.  My relationship with the ex was over but L was still so very far away, and nursing school was finished but I wasn't licensed yet.  Even when things nearly crumbled around me with the ex's attempted suicide and L came out to be with me for a while, I still felt stuck in limbo.  When she left in September the next time I saw her was supposed to be when she moved out here, I wasn't ever supposed to have to put her back on a plane and ship her off again.  But I did, and it was horrible.  And now, only 25 days away from her arrival, I'm sitting here banging my head against the figurative wall in utter impatience.  I still may not be employable (aka licensed) by the time she gets here, but at least the most amazing part of my life will finally be able to move forward even if another very important part is still stuck in the mud.

Please please PLEASE let the waiting go quickly!  I just want to wake up every morning next to, and go to bed every night with, my Love.  (And it would be nice to finally be a licensed nurse too!)

No comments:

Post a Comment