Today my heart became whole again, L is finally here to stay. No more months without seeing her, no more nights on Skype hoping that our computers don't restart or drop connection. No more explaining to two little people that they can't go to her house and see her because its too far away. Only time spent with her, C and R. I know there are likely to be rough patches, and I know those patches won't be easy, but considering everything we've been through in the past I've got a lot of confidence that we will be able to work through it.
I've been trying for weeks to get across to C that L will be staying with us for good this time, R is too little to really grasp things like that but I told her anyway. And when I say I've been trying, I mean I've told him so many different ways that I really couldn't think of any better way to tell him for him to possibly understand. And then tonight, he and L had a moment that got me all teary. Her being here, and hearing her say it to him, and answering his questions all made it sink in for him. Then, in his heart melting way, he wrapped his arms around her neck (she'd been down on his level) and told her he loved her. When she said it back, I had to walk away because if I'd stayed I was likely gonna cry. Now, they've exchanged "I love yous" before and it made me happy, but to hear him say it after the already very special conversation they'd had just slid it home for me that she really won't ever be leaving us again.
I'm not sure I even have the right words to express exactly how amazing this whole situation is to me. All I know is that I feel blessed to have found somebody so right for me, somebody that I love and that loves me just as much. I found her years ago and made the mistake of not following my heart at the time, but we are together now and I'm happier than I have ever been. And the most amazing part is that she is not only great for me but she and the kids mesh too, they adore each other. I couldn't ask for a better person to help me raise them when they are here with me. They aren't going to be burdened with a step-monster like some kids are, they are getting a loving, devoted, fantastic third parent to help teach them to be the amazing people they have the potential to be. And for that too I feel incredibly blessed.